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“One day, when I will have enough, when I will have done enough, when I will be enough, I will be happy… One day… but not today.”
That is the lie we experience in our daily lives.
We set an arbitrary limit, a date in time when we will allow ourselves to be happy.
When we reach that arbitrary limit, be it a promotion, a vacation, a trip around the world, we are happy… but not for long.
Just as happiness settles, we find the next shinny thing to strive towards and we impose on ourselves a new deadline for when we are allowed to feel happiness.
What happiness is not
What happiness is not
In our current culture, happiness is the end goal of a human life.
In today’s culture, happiness is not something we are, it is something to be attained.
In our day and age, happiness is advertised to look like:
-that new car
-a new trip to that exotic place
-a new piece of clothing we “need”
- a new piece of jewelry
If you watch TV, or take part in the 21st century media, you may think that happiness is actually something you can buy at a retail store.
I am sorry to tell you, but happiness is by no means purchasable.
How many of us have friends who have tried to purchase their way into happiness?
How many of us have said, “When I’ll have that, then I will be happy”?
How did it go?
Yeah, sure. We were happy for a few minutes, maybe even hours, but then we got to a new normal.
We got over our initial burst of joy and we started acting not as if we enjoy that, but as if we are entitled to the thing, we have been chasing.
As much as I would like it to be otherwise, happiness is not attained by chasing things.
You can’t find meaning or joy in stuff and you definitely won’t find it in buying new stuff.
Happiness does not really have a price tag and actually… it is free for anyone to attain.
What is happiness?
What is happiness?
Happiness is something you are.
It is a state, an emotion if you wish.
Happiness is also a choice.
You decide if you are happy, just as you can decide that you “will be happy only after you do/have/meet whatever”.
Happiness takes the mold of your attitude.
You can create it, as well as destroy it.
Happiness is found not at the end of a long road, but all along the road.
The real joys of life are found in the pursuit of something, not in the attainment of it.
Try as we might, things will sadly not grant real happiness.
It is only in the people and in our own choice that we can find joy in our daily existence.
It is us who are our own happiness dealers.
We are both the seller and the buyer of our own contentment.
If that is so, we have to stop selling ourselves happiness and just BE happy.
We first must stop “trying to be happy” and actually be happy.
“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.” — Chuang-Tzu
Happiness is dependent on nothing
Happiness is dependent on nothing
Happiness doesn’t really have a prerequisite list.
If that is so, if we don’t need money, more time, more achievements, more popularity, more whatever to be happy, then what do we need to actually do?!
1. Be grateful for what you have RIGHT NOW.
Don’t think what’s missing from your life. Don’t think about what would be the next best purchase. Don’t even think about how what you have is better than what someone else has.
Focus only on yourself, on the joys that have been bestowed upon yourself.
I don’t know what riches you have, but I sure know you have a lot more than you think right now.
To learn more about gratefulness, check out this blog post.
2. Tidy up.
Go on, clean up.
Everything from your bedroom to your digital life, to your own mind.
Just tidy it up.
Sort stuff, put things in order, make your bed, go through your cool memories.
Make sure your space (physical and mental) is in order, so your soul is in order.
3. Keep an awesomeness journal.
Everyone’s been complimented on SOMETHING.
We mostly forget and not really think about sincere compliments others have given us along our paths.
Remember when that cute girl told you that you look sharp?
Remember when you spent your day working for charity and everyone was so thankful for your service?
Remember that person who said sincerely “you changed my life”?
Months and years later we forget about all of this.
Keep a journal with all of those memories, as cringe as it may seem.
One day it will be all the wind you needed in your sail.
4. Help others.
Sure we can help ourselves and all of that is great, but we don’t really feel happy unless we’ve also helped someone else.
I’m not saying “donate everything you own to charity”, but rather look around for those less fortunate and do a good deed once in a while.
It will sure help mean a lot to them and if nothing else… You will feel good about yourself for going out of your way to make someone’s day better.
And most importantly…
5. Get in touch.
Meet people, whatever way you can.
Do not distance yourself.
Human relationships are the only REAL currency we ever have.
Trust, care and love and the only true currencies that never depreciate within our lifetimes.
Talk with your friends, see what people whom you haven’t talk to in a while are up to, get to know new people.
Whatever you do, don’t forget the advice of The Minimalists: “Love people and use things. The opposite never works.”
Photo credits:
Ben-White
Bruce-Mars
Karsten-Winegeart
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