Learned helplessness
Read time: 8 minutes
My favorite book of all time is called “Man’s search for meaning” by Viktor Frankl.
It is the story of a holocaust survivor which showcases how humans can exceed their circumstances by changing their views on the events happening in their life.
Simply put: It is a story that reminds us we always have a choice, no matter what, even in the holocaust.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” – Viktor Frankl
What is learned helplessness
If you could have learned helplessness in an image, I think this one would be it
Learned helplessness is not real. It is only in your head. You are both the creator and the slave of it.
Learned helplessness referes to an individual’s inability to see they can change their current situation.
In the academical domain, there is a fairly famous study introducing the idea of Learned Helplessness to the world:
“In Part 1 of this study, three groups of dogs were placed in harnesses.
Group 1 dogs were simply put in a harnesses for a period of time and were later released. Groups 2 and 3 consisted of "yoked pairs".
Dogs in Group 2 were given electric shocks at random times, which the dog could end by pressing a lever.
Each dog in Group 3 was paired with a Group 2 dog; whenever a Group 2 dog got a shock, its paired dog in Group 3 got a shock of the same intensity and duration, but its lever did not stop the shock.
To a dog in Group 3, it seemed that the shock ended at random, because it was their paired dog in Group 2 that was causing it to stop. Thus, for Group 3 dogs, the shock was "inescapable".
In Part 2 of the experiment the same three groups of dogs were tested in a shuttle-box apparatus (a chamber containing two rectangular compartments divided by a barrier a few inches high).
ALL of the dogs could escape shocks on one side of the box by jumping over a low partition to the other side. The dogs in Groups 1 and 2 quickly learned this task and escaped the shock. Most of the Group 3 dogs – which had previously learned that nothing they did had any effect on shocks – simply lay down passively and whined when they were shocked.”
“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” – Viktor Frankl
But I have no choice
I’ll call that bullshit. You ALWAYS have a choice. In every moment of every day you can choose to:
Not go to work
Refuse any and all responsabilities
Throw a cake at your boss
Punch an annoying co-worker in the face
Fight with a street gang
You DO have a choice. You can choose how you wish to react to events
What would be more appropriate to say is that your other choices suck.
They may lead to several thousand of euros in insurance, prison, or death.
Your choices may very well suck, but the worst thing you can do is to decide you have no choice. You ALWAYS DO have a choice.
When you accept the fact that you HAVE a choice, that at any moment you can DECIDE to act in another way against whatever is happening, you remember you are completely free to write your story the way you want to write it.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
It’s not helping you
Staying on the side of helplessness simply doesn’t bring any rewards.
Even if you truly don’t have any better choice, it is of no use to belive that.
We need look no further than the effects placebo has on the brain:
“Medical history is replete with numerous reported cases where placebos were found to have a profound effect on a variety of disorders.
One such astounding case was that of a woman suffering from severe nausea and vomiting. Objective measurements of her gastric contractions indicated a disrupted pattern matching the condition she complained of.
Then a ‘new, magical, extremely potent’ drug was offered to her, which would, the doctors proclaimed, undoubtedly cure her nausea.
Within a few minutes, her nausea vanished!
The very same gastric tests now revealed normal pattern, when, in actuality, she had been given syrup of ipecac, a substance usually used to induce nausea!
When the syrup was presented to her, paired with the strong suggestion of relief of nausea, by an authority figure, it acted as a (command) message to the brain that triggered a cascade of self-regulatory biochemical responses within the body.
This instance dramatically demonstrates that the influence of placebo could be more potent than expected drug effect.”
If we can can recreate our bio-chemistry by mere beliving we can, just imagine what it can to for our attitudes, for our psychology, for our being.
Everything in your life is YOUR responsability
You are not exclusively responsible for everything that has ever happened in the world, or even everything that has happened to you, yet it does not help you to think otherwise.
If a car hits you, it’s not technically your fault.
But again, such belifes don’t empower your life.
Why not belive you can do something about it?
Why not belive that if you pay enough attention to the envoirment you and your loved ones could skip being crushed by a few tons of metal?
You can always do something about it
Changing your attitude is easy and it’s a quick way to re-empower yourself.
You are not a headless chiken.
You are a strong human being who knows how to do the best for themselves.
Reshaping mental models
I have created a short list to help you to release the barriers you impose on your life by not allowing yourself to feel free at all times:
1. Change your language
Instead of saying “I don’t have a choice”, say “This is the best choice according to my goals”
Instead of “I don’t have time”, say “It’s not a priority for me”
Instead of saying “I can’t”, say “I haven’t spent the resources needed to develop this habit / skill YET”
2. Don’t be insane
Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
It is fairly obvious your results will never change unless you change your approach.
You are winning nothing by not swapping your attitude into that of a problem solver.
3. Identify the origin of learned helplessness
Anything from how you were thought within your family to the traumas that mark your childhood are all triggers for your learned helplessness.
Find the triggers and let them go.
Accept what is and don’t let it torment you any longer.
4. Prove to yourself
Do very simple things you have been putting off in order to feel like you CAN do things.
“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
Set one goal each day and don’t let your day end before having done it.
5. Create meaning
Why suffer for nothing at all? Create something to strive for, something that your life is working towards
“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
Have a cause that is not only worth dying for, but also worth living for.